Like many people, I've had yo-yo periods with my weight. I would go on a diet for a few months, lose a good number of pounds, and then suddenly (or even slowly) go back to my poor eating habits and gain it all back. I came to a realization that this time around I really need to make a lifestyle change. I need to start eating and exercising in a way that I will be able to keep going for the rest of my life. This flies in the face of everything I've ever done or believed in.
Normally, I would cut my calories way down and exercise in inconsistent spurts. The pounds would virtually fall off. Of course, since I was never able to keep this kind of eating/activity going, the pounds would pack back on. By making an entire lifestyle change, I can ensure that I won't freak out my metabolism and I won't "fall of the wagon" so easily. The problem with this approach is that it takes........................ so............................. long!
Three things have happened recently that are making me want to jump back to my previous yo-yo dieting ways:
1. My mother has just lost a ton of weight. This is an excellent thing but every time I see her, she is a size smaller and that makes me feel even bigger. I feel like I'm falling behind and even though I know it's all in my head, I fear that my weight will somehow hold her back. At the same time, I am insanely jealous of her. We've been overweight together for almost my entire life and now it's just me.
2. A friend at work recently got the lap band surgery. She hasn't lost much weight yet but I know that very soon, she will be shedding pounds in a quick way. This brings out the competitive side of me. I want to instantly start starving myself so that I can be the one who suddenly loses a bunch of weight. She's really the only other person in my department that is around my size and if she loses all of her weight, that will make me stick out like a sore thumb.
3. I bought a bathroom scale and stepped on it. I haven't been on a scale in well over a year and as part of the effort to start a new healthy lifestyle, I bought one. The number was sobering. I'm not even ready to type it in this anonymous blog - that's how freaked I am by it.
I know my reaction to these events is very petty but I want to be honest and identify my feelings. Facing all of these events, so close together, gives me a panic attack of sorts and really makes me want to get sloppy and rush to get the pounds off. I know it would be very beneficial to get the weight off quickly but I also know that it won't last. I need to tell myself that this is my life- my weight is my own and I'm not in competition with any other person or circumstance in the world. I need to take the time to lose this weight in a slow, healthy, PERMANENT way.
I'm thankful for all the other blogs out there. Reading your stories really helps keep me motivated and shows me that there are other people out there going through the same thing. :)
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Hmmm... that competition can kick your ass. I used to compare myself to other bloggers and their progress, and then I realized I was just hurting myself.
ReplyDeleteI think you are working it out though, and aware of it!
Great attitude to start out with! Keep thinking that way, and you will do great. Be in it for the long haul and not the sprint. :) You are way better off than lap-band girl! You are doing this on your own, working towards a healthier lifestyle. She has an artificial control imposed on her, that is no guarantee she will stay thin if and whens she gets there.
ReplyDeleteGood luck miss! Oh, and posting your weight is hard, yes, but it's fine once you actually get it up there. No one who blogs like we do will ever judge you on your starting weight. :)
There are A TON of us going thru the same thing!
ReplyDeleteThe scale thing...some people compete with the scale, some compete with other dieters.
But sooner or later you'll find out what works best for you. And you won't need to see it as a competition, per se. Because you are right - it takes a long, long time to lose weight and keep it off!
Speaking as an almost 49 year old (I don't know where you are on the age scale) I can truthfully say (the proof is my body) that trying to do this weight loss thing quickly and measure my progress with the numbers on a scale has not worked FOR ME.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying on the slow is better/ditch the scale thing & see how it goes. Patience is a virtue I need to develop as impatience has only derailed every weight loss attempt till now.
You are certainly not alone as anne h. has implied.
When I posted my starting weight 286 lbs I was horrified. I needn't have been. We're all here together and support you.
It is not a competition with others, but with your life and the quality of it. That sounds about as preachy as ever, but that is not what I intended.
ReplyDeleteYou defintely have to go at your own pace. But like you I draw inspiration from the others who do the weight loss blog world.
Good luck!
I used to work out at this gym every day--3 days a week with a trainer. A woman asked me once what I was working so hard for--a wedding? A reunion? A marathon?
ReplyDeleteMy answer? Life! I found I have the most incentive to stick with it when I think about what makes me feel the best--not just right this second, but 10 minutes from now, and tomorrow. . .
I got restarted about the same time as you (July 4th). . . let's stick with it pretty bluebird.